martes, 19 de marzo de 2013
I have talked about Cuba before, in other entries. But today I want to talk about feelings (oooooooh). Cuba is, above all else, confusing. In a lot of ways you feel like you've gone back in time: 1950s cars, horse and carts being legitimately used as taxis and in towing, the casual attitude, kids playing with tops in the street... But then sometimes you come across something and it is completely disorientating. For instance, you can find Internet access in Cuba (although it can be difficult/impossible at times), once I saw a new-looking Audi (excuse my lack of knowledge about car models... but it was shiny if that helps) or the fact that they are meant to have an amazing medical system. Added to these temporal confusions are social ones, and in particular, economic ones.
In some ways, the confusion I'm feeling now is the same that I experienced in Cuba. In some ways I feel like I've gone back in time - I'm back in the same city, attending the same university and I have the same friends (who have not at all changed from when I last saw them). But then I get disorientated: I'm doing Honours now, my schedule is different, I live in a different neighbourhood. There are also added social and economic confusions. But really, in the end, it all boils down to the fact that I am different. I wasn't sure that I was completely compatible before, but now I know I am not. I have come to the conclusion that I really need new friends, to make my current ones become old friends. I am not compatible with them, and I feel that being around them makes me into a worse person. I need my freedom back.