lunes, 22 de julio de 2013

That Feeling

Do you know that feeling, where everything has been chaotic or distracted or disorderly, or just not good in some way, but then something happens.  Or rather, nothing happens, there is no change, just subtle shifts that aren't really noticeable.  Everything slows down, time seems idle but the best thing  is that everything matches.  Everything seems to fall in place: to coordinate, to just be right.  Everything is where it needs to be.  And suddenly you realise how perfect everything is.  No matter how much you may have strived to achieve such cohesion, such sync-ing previously, you would never have been able to attain it.  It is not the kind of feeling that you can work towards, it is more like a moment where everything in the universe aligns, and it is just that you are there to recognise it.  Or like your breath catches and time stops for a second. You are completely at peace with yourself and everything makes sense.

I imagine a lot of people get this feeling from drugs and alcohol, or at least it is what they are striving for.  I would like to believe this: who can be blamed for trying to feel such perfection?  Drugs, sex and music - the triple combo - maybe that is all you need to feel it.  Maybe that is all you need; but it wouldn't be the same.  It wouldn't be pure.  And if you can get that feeling sober, well, what need do you have for drugs?

lunes, 1 de julio de 2013


It seems that while Mexico comes to life at night, in Australia everything only becomes more intimidating, dark and lonesome; which is ironic considering how much safer Australia apparently is.  Boundaries seem more definite, more intimidating.  Seeing such (generally pointless) rigidity  makes me feel the need to rebel... But being caught out somewhere where you weren't meant to be at night would get you into a lot more trouble than during the day.  While all the signs are there during the day,  at night disobeying them may leave people jumping to conclusions about your intentions: stalker? murder? rapist? pervert?  It is like the personal and private aspect becomes so much more prominent at night than during daylight hours.  And while I am a private person myself, maybe I wouldn't have been if I was raised somewhere else.  

Apart from a certain coldness, there is an unsettling element to such strict privacy though: what are they trying to hide?  Maybe it is my misinterpretation given Australia's reputation for being a really laid back country... but the suburbs at night are definitely unwelcoming, creating a heightened sense of your own isolation, almost an absence.